In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d post something on love at the office.

The workplace is a fertile ground for relationships. Co-workers, after all, spend most of their day together in a safe environment, working towards similar goals. The office’s abundant bonding makes dating very easy, and almost inevitable. Despite the ease of entering into an office romance though, actually being in one and ending one can bring about a mess of complications.

If you’re part of an office romance, you should assess the relationship early on. You and your partner will need to discuss a few things. Of course, nobody enjoys having that particular talk, but you need to think objectively for a minute in order to avoid losing both your job and lover. You’ll need to figure out how serious the relationship is and, from there, whether you should stay quiet or go public. You’ll also need to prepare for whatever catastrophes might arise.

In office romances you’re dating either a colleague, subordinate, or boss, and each has its own issues. If you’ve paired up with a colleague, think about how well the relationship might stand up to rivalry. How will you deal with competing for the same promotion? If you’ve paired up with a subordinate, you should prepare yourself for accusations of favoritism. Other subordinates might frown upon this relationship and you should work hard to remain objective in business affairs. The same caution against favoritism is true if you’re dating your boss. Jealous coworkers may attribute any promotion or raise you receive to the fact that you’re hooking up with the primary decision maker. Another thing to think about when dating your boss is his/her temperament. Are they ruthless in business? Think about how easy it’d be for your boss to make things miserable for you after a break-up.

Regardless of whom you’re dating, you’ll want to make sure there’s no policy against the match-up. You can risk sneaking around quietly if there is, but be aware of the possible repercussions. Apart from policy restrictions, you may want to keep the relationship under wraps indefinitely if either of the partners is married. Note that if you do decide to keep your romance clandestine, you may have to see other coworkers trying to flirt with your partner. If you are the jealous type, make sure this won’t lead to a nasty grudge that’s bound to puzzle the target. Keeping quiet about this relationship while it’s still developing and you’re both attempting to figure out what it means can also be a wise choice. This should help maintain a degree of professionalism and prevent a potential break-up from destroying the positive atmosphere of the office.

If you decide to make your relationship public, take a few steps to ensure your coworkers don’t have a backlash against you. Avoid public displays of affection, using company funds and time for personal uses, and blatant favoritism.

Open or secret, bear in mind that you and your partner will be spending a lot of time together. While this is obviously great for some reasons, it might create some friction in the relationship. Make sure you have a little alone time every now and then to avoid this.

Factor in how entwined your lives will be and prepare for the worst. If you break-up, make sure you’ll be able to act civilized. Handling a split poorly will be nothing but detrimental to both your careers.

Office affairs may not be as taboo as they once were, but it’s still important to tread carefully for the benefit of both love and work.

OK first off…you know this is a terrible business climate right now, and a lot of people aren’t getting raises, so it’s not just you. The one thing you should absolutely NOT do is get in a snit and go storming out of your boss’s office. That will do nothing for your next evaluation, your next shot at a raise or your standing at the company.

You do, however, have the right to know why your raise was turned down, and there might be a number of different reasons:

• Company finances. With things being what they are right now in the business world, there’s a real good chance that this is going to be the case. And if they tell you that, there’s a real good chance that they are being honest with you, especially if nobody else in your department is seeing a raise. If that’s the case, there’s not much that you can do but accept it, get over it and move on. Not much point in getting upset, especially since 1 in 10 Americans are out of a job right now, and 2 in 10 are “underemployed”, with all that entails.

• Poor timing. Lots of companies only are allowed to hand out raises once during a fiscal year, or only after evaluations. If that’s the case, once again, there’s not much you can do about it. Of course, that doesn’t do you much good if your own expenses are going up, your spouse lost a job or your kids need braces. Depending on the nature of your job, maybe you can at least see if you can work overtime or get incentive pay of some sort. Unfortunately, if the company is feeling the pinch (as in the above scenario) they may also be cutting back on bonuses, overtime and incentive to scale back on payroll expenses. So…if you’re going to have to wait until the next quarter, next year or next evaluation (and overtime isn’t an option) your best move is going to be to keep the nose to the grindstone and do the absolute best job you can manage so that when the time comes, you’ll get that raise after all!

• Poor performance. If your raise was declined due to performance issues, this is when you need to be proactive, stand on your own two feet and find out the specifics. Chances are you’re going to find this out when it’s evaluation time anyway, but regardless, ask your supervisor or department head what areas need to be improved. Find out where your weak points are, and do your dead level best to improve on them. Or, your alternative might be to start looking for another job elsewhere, with better pay and better opportunities. But a word to the wise here: if you’re moving in that direction, keep it to yourself. Nothing can sabotage your future at a company quicker than making it known that you’re thinking about moving on.

After talking with so many people, I know many of you work and work to create the perfect resume, only to look it over when you are finished and realize your resume doesn’t say, or reflect, just what you want it to. And often times, that keeps you from being called for interviews.

I’ve included a list of “deal breakers” that might hinder your chances for an interview:

1. Mizspelld Words or Bad Grammar

While spell-check is good, it doesn’t catch everything – there could be a word that’s spelled right, but not the right word for the context of the sentence. Keep that spell-check in action but don’t rely on it exclusively. Misspellings can be the death of your application, no matter how qualified you might be. Think of how embarrassing it would be if you have been a mechanical engineer for 30 years and spell it ‘michanical’ engineer on your resume. Lots of times we accidentally misspell words that are actually words themselves i.e. “manger” instead of “manager”.

There can be other consequences, as well–misspelled words could interfere with resumes being found in the key word search of a resume database. So, proofread your resume yourself – it’s important.

*Be sure to keep tenses consistent and check for the correct word usage (such as “counsel” versus “council”).

2. Using a Vague Job Focus

Be clear on the type of position you want to target – your resume should be geared toward that. If you just say “Medical Field” or “Manufacturing,” the reader does not know what type of position you want, so your resume will probably not be considered. Make sure you are specific as to the type of job you want, such as “Accounting Professional”, “Senior Management Executive”, or “Educator.”

3.  Not Including your Personal Brand, or your Value

In today’s challenging job market, showing your uniqueness – your personal brand; and letting potential employers see the value you bring to a new position is essential. Your resume must reflect why an employer should pick up the phone and call you for an interview over the hundreds of other resumes sitting on their desk. You ultimately get hired for the value you contribute to a company, so make sure it shows on your resume.

4. Including your References on the Resume

YOU NO LONGER NEED TO ADD REFERENCES UPON REQUEST on your résumé. It is a given that you will bring a list of references to the interview. Only provide references when they are asked for. Never include them on your resume. It’s understood that if a company wants your references, you’ll provide them.

5. Adding Pictures to your Resume

This might sound like a good idea if you are good looking, but it can also work against you. Unless you are applying for a job as a model or actor, pictures on your résumé is not a good idea.

6. Making Reference to Political or Religious Organizations

A GIANT NO-NO!! Don’t scare off prospective employers by referring to your political or religious opinions or affiliations that do not directly relate to your ability to do the job. An employer might not agree with your politics or might feel that the workplace is nowhere to display attitudes that might alienate others.

7. Including your Salary Demands

This should not be put on the resume – it’s only used to screen a candidate out of the running or influence the employer to offer less money. Salary should not be discussed until you have had the opportunity to explain your value – in person or over the phone

8. Creating a Resume that’s Too Long

People do not have the time to go over resumes that state everything you ever did in your career. Edit your profile down to the most relevant experience for the job at hand. Employers often gauge whether an applicant can deliver information about themselves in a quick, clear and concise manner to sell themselves.

Your resume must be long enough to show your value, but not too long, or the reader will lose interest.

9. Using Incompatible File Types and Formats

Electronic resumes should be created in the most readable file for most [Internet-recruiting] systems, which is plain text or Microsoft Word.

Today’s resume needs to be readable by machines, which means text needs to have a font size between 10 – 12 and a simple font style, such as Arial, Verdana, Helvetica or Microsoft SansSerif.

10. Stick to the Truth

We’ve seen what happen with CEO’s who embellish on their résumés. If you lie on your resume, you will have to defend yourself and your résumé in an interview. Employers also do background and even credit checks, and inaccurate info could come back to haunt you.

Plus a few more…!

11. Don’t Put your Reasons for Leaving on the Résumé

Save this for the interview. It doesn’t need to be on the résumé.

12. DO NOT Make Changes to the Résumé in Pencil or Pen

Add it to the document on your computer, not jotting it down or crossing something else out. This is never acceptable on a résumé.

13. NEVER send a résumé without a cover letter!

You must always have a cover letter. It states your intention to the reader. It’s expected and is important in job search etiquette. This is a powerful tool that can give you the competitive edge.

An interview is your opportunity to sell yourself. Regardless of how much you may look the part, you need to answer the questions correctly to get the job. Interviewers ask key questions and look for certain types of answers. Honesty is always the best policy, but remember that it is okay not to offer information that was not asked.

Never bash your former employer.

It doesn’t matter if your last boss was the Wicked Witch of the Workforce, don’t say anything negative about your former employer. Instead of saying that you left your last job to get away from your boss that micromanages like it’s going out of style, say that you are looking for an employer that wants to utilize your talents and allow you to truly contribute to the company. Instead of saying what you hated about your last employer, focus on what you love about the employer that you are interviewing with.

Avoid slang.

It doesn’t matter if everyone you know uses double negatives and slang, don’t use them in your interview responses. Always make sure that you look and sound very intelligent and articulate in an interview. You might be a college graduate from an ivy league school, but if you speak like you dropped out of grade school in your interview, there’s a good chance that you won’t be getting the job. An interview is the place to be as professional as possible.

Always have questions.

Almost all interviews end with the interviewer asking you if you have any questions about the position or the company. Be certain to have some questions. However, avoid questions about pay, vacation time, hours, bonuses, and similar things that depend on you actually having the job. Instead, do some research on the company that you are interviewing with and ask a question about something that you read. This shows that you are interested about the company and have done some research.

Never say you were fired.

When asked why you left your last place of employment, never under any circumstances should you say that you were fired, even if you were. You could say instead that you and your manager agreed that your last position may not have been the best fit. Do not lie about why you left, but avoid using the words fired, terminated, and let go in your explanation of why you are no longer with your previous company.

Don’t lie.

It’s better to admit that there is something that you don’t know than to lie. If you find yourself put on the spot with a question that you don’t know how to answer, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for a moment or two to consider your answer. When you give the interviewer a well thought out response to the question that was posed, you can also make a point of emphasizing that you don’t make snap judgments and decisions, but instead prefer to think through how you are going to answer the situation. In many situations, this type of personality trait can be an asset.

It’s that time of year again, folks!

September is International Update Your Résumé Month, officially proclaimed by Career Directors International (CDI). During the entire month, CDI members will dedicate their efforts to boosting industry awareness and encouraging the public to update their own résumés.

Since most careers require a résumé in order to gain employment, it’s important that job seekers take a proactive approach in order to be ready for any and all opportunities that crop up. Too often people try to write a résumé at the last minute, which is the worst time to prepare a document that needs to be perfect. A well-crafted résumé takes time and research, and Update Your Résumé Month is a perfect reminder to be prepared for new opportunities.

I read a lot of blogs. A lot. I want to read even more, but it gets overwhelming when I see my Google Reader overflowing with unread blog posts. So, I got to thinking that if I did it for “research” it would actually be job related. Yes, I am justifying my blog reading addiction. But who cares.

I’m not a professional reviewer obviously, so I am just going to give my thoughts on the blog and how it helped me, or how it might help you. Some will be career-related and some not, because let’s face it, not every thing I read is career-related. Gasp!

You never know… my next review might be YOUR BLOG!

So, without further ado, I give you….

What Would Dad Say? by GL Hoffman        

What Would Dad Say was one of the first blogs I became addicted to when I was in my fast and furious ‘I love reading blogs’ mode. I still remember the first post I stumbled upon of his about Megan Joy, the American Idol contestant covered in tattoos.

It’s author, GL Hoffman, is the Chairman of  JobDig, a career search and employment guide. He also created and launched the incredibly successful LinkUp, a job search engine that search’s jobs from almost 22,000 company websites!

But it wasn’t only the useful sites to offer clients that interested me, but GL himself. As a veteran career expert, entrepreneur, and speaker, he offers a humorous take on all things career. The first sentence of his vision statement on his blog says it all, “I am having fun here…”. GL’s blog always promises a chuckle, some sarcasm, and a breath of fresh air.

He creates these pie chart funnies he calls, “Gruzzles” (graphs + puzzles) which have recently been featured in Fast Company. I love these. I don’t know any other way to explain them except to just go to this link and see for yourself. Clever and witty, they offer a break from the monotony of daily activities while giving you something to think about.

GL is quick to reply to your comments on his blog and knows how to keep a conversation going. BTW, his guest bloggers are interesting, too.

So, take time out of your hectic day to read GL’s blog or chuckle at his Gruzzles. You’ll be glad you did.

I was listening to a client recently tell me how she is in this job that she hates. The boss is horrible to her and she now has ulcers, which she (and her doctor) suspect comes from the job stress. She doesn’t want to quit because she is afraid of not being able to find another comparable job.

Even in this tough economic climate we’ve been faced with this past year, there are times when you have to JUST SAY NO and walk away from a job.

Speaking from an experience back in my early 20’s, I can tell you why…

Recently laid off from my pharmaceutical sales job, I found an ad in the paper with the words “Sales Representatives Needed” screaming out at me. Not that I even liked sales. I didn’t, but at the time, I didn’t know what else I would be good at, so I stayed with it.

I arrive at the meeting place, a hotel lobby, around 6:00am and met the DM and two other reps. They start talking about what entrance they thought they’d be able to get in through. A small warning bell went off in my head, “Why can’t we just use the front door?” I ask naively. They all sort of looked at each other and chuckled…”new kid”. “They don’t let us in the front door, they don’t like ’solicitors’ so we find our own way in” chuckle, chuckle, wink, wink.

We get on the road and head over to this company that manufactures chemicals. The DM insisted we sneak in through the back door that says,’Authorized Personnel Only’. I didn’t like this one bit. First, OK, I am a very polite person… I like to be invited places, not sneaking in to a place–especially potential clients. The only time I ever tried to “sneak” in anywhere was a Def Leppard concert when I was a teen–and even then, my good manners told me it wasn’t the right thing to do. But I digress.

 So, short of skin tight black spandex from head to toe, I felt like I was on Mission Impossible (hear the theme song in your head?) creeping through the side entrance and hiding behind boxes until we could “come out” of our hiding spot. Seriously. Keep in mind that I am in a skirt, pantyhose, high heels, and a brand-spanking new white blouse. I didn’t think that I would be slinking around oily plant floors when I dressed for my new job that morning. That is how unethical these people were. Slinkers. My new word.

Now I am thoroughly embarrassed, hating these slinkers, and wanting to leave, but with no ride and not really knowing where I was, I was stuck–and with them for the entire day.

We try to act as if we belong as we brazenly come out from our hiding spots and waltz along the shop floor.

Until we are stopped by the shop superintendent, who didn’t want to hear what we were trying to sell, utterly disgusted that we snuck in, and marched us out the front door. I was very happy and nodded to everything he said, giving him my very best, ‘this is my first and last day of this awful job and I’m chalking this up as a terrible experience, sorry to bother you’ look.

This went on with 4 other “prospects” who all kicked us out. I was SO happy when that day was over.

I have never quit a job without another one lined up. In fact, I’ve never NOT worked since I was 15 years old. But in that instant, I knew I was never coming back. I had been listening to my instincts tell me from the minute I got there that it was all wrong, it wasn’t the job for me, that I would be miserable there. For once, I didn’t stick it out. I didn’t say, “OK, see you all tomorrow!”. I left.

It was the best feeling in the world and I was so grateful to not have to go back.

So, my point is this:  if you go to a job that makes your skin crawl, that goes against everything you believe in, or you are getting treated poorly, LEAVE.

I am the first to think, “desperate times calls for any ole’ job’, but there are lots of other jobs out there that are less painful and cause much less stress. Think of your mental and physical health if you are going to a place of work that you despise. It’s not good for you. I am a firm believer in the mind+body connection. If you are miserable, your health will start to deteriorate and THEN how are you supposed to work?

As I was sipping my piping hot, freshly ground Starbucks House Blend, I thought, “ahhhh”. I’m not sure what it is about coffee, but I love it. Caffeinated or not, I love coffee. The smell, the taste, the culture. I need it, have to have it, would hate to live without it.

I am from a family of huge coffee drinkers. My parents always had a pot of it going. I loved the smell, but hated the taste of it (they drank it black). When I was 19, my boyfriend at the time drank it and, wanting to impress him of course, I started as well. My love affair with coffee continued long after college and long after the boyfriend. What a wonderful courtship it has been. I’ve always been happy to drive out of the way to hit a new coffee shop or try out a ‘flavor of the week’. When a Starbucks moved into my sleepy little farming town, WHOA! You would have thought they put a mega mall in town the way everyone was talking about it.

Besides the wonderful smell and strongly bitter taste, it DOES have some good health benefits. Did you know that some health experts say that people who drink coffee on a regular basis are 80% less likely to develop Parkinson’s Disease? WebMD also goes on to say that it “lowers your risk of diabetes, cavities and colon cancer. It can uplift you and treat headaches.  There’s also some evidence that coffee may help manage asthma and even control attacks when medication is unavailable. Overall, the research shows that coffee is far more healthful than it is harmful,” says Tomas DePaulis, PhD, research scientist at Vanderbilt University’s Institute for Coffee Studies.

So there’s that.

My career has revolved around coffee. I can always rely on my faithful cup of joe to get me though the next resume, next article, next blog post, and so on. Every job interview I’ve been on, there was a stop to pick up a coffee beforehand. Every workshop I’ve done was with coffee in hand (or somewhere in the room).

Career and Coffee seem to go hand in hand in my life. So, here’s to you coffee!