The Magic Formula to Better Results: It's Your Response that Counts

Career & WorkplaceGuest PostsSuccess Strategies

Editors Note:  Here is another fantastic article from Jack Canfield, author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, and America’s leading Success Coach.
I love this article. It aligns with my own personal belief that we CHOOSE our lives. We CHOOSE our responses to things. We CHOOSE the outcome. Sort of like ‘is the glass half full or half empty?’. It’s a matter of choice. Mine is half full. We can choose to change our thoughts and that will change the outcome of any situation. Don’t sit idly by and say, ‘my life takes control of me, I have no choice’.. no, YOU get to choose to take control of your life or any situation. Make YOURSELF happy. Align your thoughts with how you want the situation to turn out. Watch your life go smoothly and exactly how you want it to. It’s not rocket science. It’s just a matter of choice.

by Jack Canfield               
In today’s economic times, when everywhere you look there’s a rumbling of great uncertainty, I think we should all take a pause (and a deep breath) to think about our lives.
Are we moving in the direction we want to be? When things happen in the world that seem so far beyond our individual control, it can feel unsettling. And even though we think we are the masters of our own success, watching the news these days can chip away at our beliefs.
Even in tough economic times, you get to decide how to respond to certain conditions, opportunities, and outcomes—both good and bad.
While I don’t claim to be an economist, I do know one important fact. The economy is the same for everyone, it’s how you respond to it that determines how you feel about it.
It’s yet another example of what I’ve been teaching for years. . .

E + R = O
(Events + Responses = Outcome)

The basic idea is that every outcome you experience in life (whether it’s success or failure, wealth or poverty, wellness or illness, intimacy or estrangement, joy or frustration) is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event (or events) in your life.
If you don’t like the outcomes you are currently experiencing, there are two basic choices you can make:
Choice #1: You can blame the event (E) for your lack of results (O).
In other words, you can blame the economy, the weather, the lack of money, lack of education, racism, gender bias, the current administration in Washington, your wife or husband, your boss’s attitude, the lack of support, and so on.
No doubt all these factors exist, but if they were the deciding factor, nobody would ever succeed.
For every reason it’s not possible, there are hundreds of people who have faced the same circumstances and have succeeded.
It’s not the external conditions and circumstances that stop us — it’s us!
We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors. We defend our self-destructive habits (such as drinking and smoking) with indefensible logic.
We ignore useful feedback, fail to continuously educate ourselves and learn new skills, waste time on the trivial aspects of our lives, engage in idle gossip, eat unhealthy food, fail to exercise, spend more than we make, fail to tell the truth, don’t ask for what we want, and then wonder why our lives aren’t working.
Choice #2: You can instead simply change your responses (R) to the events (E) until you get the outcomes (O) you want.
You can change your thinking, change your communication, change the pictures you hold in your head (your images of the world) and you can change your behavior (the things you do.) That’s all you really have any control over anyway.
Unfortunately, most of us are so engrained in our habits that we never change our behavior.
We get stuck in our conditioned responses-to our spouses and children, to our colleagues at work, to our customers and our clients, to our students, and to the world at large.
You have to gain control of your thoughts, your images, your dreams and daydreams, and your behavior.
Everything you think, say, and do needs to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values, and your goals.
If you don’t like your outcomes, change your responses!
Here’s an example of how this works…
Do you remember the Northridge earthquake in 1994? I do! I lived through it in Los Angeles.
Two days later I watched as CNN interviewed people commuting to work. The earthquake had damaged one of the main freeways leading into the city. Traffic was at a standstill, and what was normally a 1-hour drive had become a 2-3 hour drive.
The CNN reporter knocked on the window of one of the cars stuck in traffic and asked the driver how he was doing.
He responded, angrily, “I hate California. First there were fires, then floods, and now an earthquake! No matter what time I leave in the morning, I’m late for work. I can’t believe it!”
Then the Reporter knocked on the window of the car behind him and asked the driver the same question. This driver was all smiles.
He replied “It’s no problem. I left my house at five am. I don’t think under the circumstances my boss can ask for more than that. I have lots of music and Spanish-language tapes with me. I’ve got my cell phone. Coffee in a thermos, my lunch-I even have a book to read. I’m fine.”
Now, if the earthquake or the traffic were really the deciding variables, then everyone should have been angry. But everyone wasn’t.
It was their individual response to the traffic that gave them their particular outcome. It was thinking negative thoughts or positive thoughts, leaving the house prepared or leaving the house unprepared that made the difference. It was all a matter of attitude and behavior that created their completely different experiences.
If we all experience the same EVENT, the OUTCOME you get will be totally dependent upon your RESPONSE to the situation.
If you want to take control of how you respond to life, you’ll start noticing that your outcomes will be more along the lines of what you have always hoped.
Remember, you control your destiny so make it a fantastic one!

© 2009 Jack Canfield

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Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

Jack Canfield is one of my favorite success coaches and a pioneer in the “change your thoughts, change your life” mindset. He speaks from experience, going from making $8000 a year as a teacher, to making multi-millions as an international speaker and coach. His techniques are simple and very effective. I’ve seen my own business triple in the last year and I owe a lot of my thanks to him.  Enjoy!  –Erin



Good Things Come to Those Who Ask!
by Jack Canfield
Asking for what you need is probably the most underutilized tool for people. And yet, amazing requests have been granted to people simply because they’ve asked for it!
Whether its money, information, support, assistance, or time, most people are afraid to ask for what they need in order to make their dreams come true.
They might be afraid of looking needy, ignorant, helpless, or even greedy. More than likely though, it is the fear of rejection that is holding them back. Even though they are afraid to hear the word no, they’re already saying it to themselves by not asking!
Do you ask for what you want or are you afraid of rejection?
Consider this: Rejection is just a concept. There is really no such thing as rejection! You’re not any worse off by hearing no than you were before you asked. You didn’t have what you asked for before you asked and you still don’t, so what did you lose?
Being rejected doesn’t hold you back from anything. Only YOU hold yourself back. When you realize that there’s no merit to rejection, you’ll feel more comfortable asking for things. You may just need a bit of help learning how to ask for what you want.
How to Ask for What You Want
There’s a specific science to asking for and getting what you want or need in life. And while I recommend you learn more by studying The Aladdin Factor, here are some quick tips to get you started:
1. Ask as if you expect to get it. Ask with a positive expectation. Ask from the place that you have already been given it. It is a done deal. Ask as if you expect to get a “yes.”
2. Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get it. If you are going to assume, assume you can get an upgrade. Assume you can get a table by the window. Assume that you can return it without a sales slip. Assume that you can get a scholarship, that you can get a raise, that you can get tickets at this late date. Don’t ever assume against yourself.
3. Ask someone who can give it to you. Qualify the person. Who would I have to speak to to get…Who is authorized to make a decision about…What would have to happen for me to get…
4. Be clear and specific. In my seminars, I often ask, “Who wants more money in their life?” I’ll pick someone who raised their hand and give them a quarter, asking, “Is that enough for you?”No? Well, how would I know how much you want. How would anybody know?”
You need to ask for a specific number. Too many people are walking around wanting more of something, but not being specific enough to obtain it.
5. Ask repeatedly. One of the most important Success Principles is the commitment to not give up.
Whenever we’re asking others to participate in the fulfillment of our goals, some people are going to say “no.” They may have other priorities, commitments and reasons not to participate. It’s no reflection on you.
Just get used to the idea that there’s going to be a lot of rejection along the way to the brass ring. The key is to not give up. When someone says “No”– you say “NEXT!” Why?
Because when you keep on asking, even the same person again and again…they might say “yes”…
…on a different day
…when they are in a better mood
…when you have new data to present
…after you’ve proven your commitment to them
…when circumstances have changed
…when you’ve learned how to close better
…when you’ve established better rapport
…when they trust you more
…when you have paid your dues
…when the economy is better
…and so on.
Kids know this Success Principle better than anyone. They will ask the same person over and over again without any hesitation (can you relate!).
Getting a good perspective on rejection and learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goals. Practice asking and you’ll get very good at it! You’ll even speed your progress by getting what you need, or improving yourself in order to get it later.
Make a list of what you need to ask for in all areas of your life, and start asking.
Remember, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE… if you dare to ask!

© 2009 Jack Canfield

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