Men: Making the decision to stay at home

Career & WorkplaceFamilyJob SearchWork/Family Balance


Men making the decision to stay at home have become a more common decision these days, with extended paternal leave benefits, and partners who are making as much or more money than their spouses. Stay-at-home fathers are more accepted nowadays too, socially, with more men making the decision with their spouses that the family as a whole would be best served by dad doing the bulk of the child-rearing, while mom heads off for work. I recently read that more women than men are working now.
In the decades previous, it was usually the dad who had the career. Women held the title of caregiver to the children, while men pursued their employment and brought home the paychecks. I couldn’t imagine my dad wanting to stay home with us, nor could I imagine my mom wanting to give up that role, as she always says it was the best time in her life.

With the advancement of equal-pay-for-equal-work initiatives all over the world, disparity between the incomes of men and women is not as large a factor in career viability; in fact, it’s often the women in traditional marriages who bring home the larger paycheck. Interesting!
Most often, men making the decision to stay at home starts off with financial reasons. Who earns more, which parent has the more comprehensive insurance policy, which one has a more flexible career or schedule, and whether either parent is able to work from home all need to be weighed and decided upon. If you can take the financial hit from losing a portion of the parents’ combined income and still be a viable bill-paying team, then your options about primary care-givers are much more flexible. However, if you will be extremely challenged to make your monthly financial obligations, you need to consider other options, such as both parents staying at work, and placing the child into a daycare situation.
New challenges still face the parents who choose to have dad stay at home, with this option still not being seen as socially conventional. While it’s true that it is becoming more popular, it is still not the norm, and some men do not fare well with the unconventional arrangement. Stay-at-home dads need to pay attention to their needs, just as women have had to do for centuries. These include socialization with your peers, and perhaps making sure you stay employable. Going to the park with your baby may be nice, but if you are a more social person, really dependent on your former office or job-site personal interactions, you may want to seek a healthy outlet for your needs.
As I was doing research for this article, I wondered if there were groups or resources for stay at home dads. When my children were babies, I joined MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) which saved my sanity by meeting every other week with moms in my position (little ones at home) for food, talk, speakers, crafts and ADULT TIME. I have been looking all over the internet and so far haven’t seen any groups similar. Hmmm…. maybe someone should start a “FOPS” group?
No matter what your career, there are probably refresher courses or seminars in your field that can provide the social stimulus you might be craving, as well as keeping you up to date in your line of work. There are lots of available resources online and in-print that can help partners not only make the initial decisions regarding which parent stays at home, but also valuable information about how to deal with that decision once it is made. Parenting classes, financial planning seminars, social gatherings for similarly-situated parents…All can be found with a little research and an honest look at how you want your child-rearing situation to happen. Good luck!

**I am a member of the Career Collective, a group of resume writers and career coaches.  Each month, all members discuss a certain topic.  This month, we are talking about “scary” career or resume mistakes. Please follow our tweets on Twitter #careercollective.  You can also view the other member’s interesting posts at the end of the article.

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Executive or senior level positions are a different animal when compared to others. More than a simple experience, those applying for senior or executive positions have to be better, faster and more creative than the competition. Even the smallest of errors can quickly become roadblocks to future success. Understanding how to avoid scary resume mistakes is critical for those that hope to land a plum position.

Luckily, the scariest of these mistakes are also the easiest to avoid…if you simply know what you are looking for.

  1. Grammar: Sounds simple, but grammar and spelling errors can be the worst resume mistake. Poorly written resumes do not advertise the applicant as a qualified individual; instead, they advertise you as lazy, unobservant and possibly illiterate. This mistake is the easiest of all to avoid. Do not rely on spell check alone; instead ask a qualified friend or professional to review the resume for you as well.
  2. Poorly written objectives/career summaries: The career summary portion of a resume is often easy to overlook. Job seekers erroneously assume that those reading the resumes often ignore the section. Instead, the summary is your first and best chance to not only state your objective, but to add a sense of whom you are. Avoiding a poorly written career summary starts with putting in the appropriate amount of time writing it. Remain clear and focused on what you want to do, what you excel at, and what you can do for the reader. It is also a good idea to personalize summaries for specific jobs or positions.
  3. Hiding crucial information: Functional resumes sometimes seem like they are hiding information about the job seeker’s accomplishments and skill sets by ignoring the standard chronological format. If functional is still your choice, consider creating a hybrid functional/chronological resume that will please all types of readers.
  4. Being too general: Creating a generalized resume to use for every new opportunity is a mistake. Today, a general resume isn’t enough. Instead, develop a well written, grammatically correct base resume and personalize it for each new position. Carefully tweaking skills, highlighting different accomplishments and other critical areas more maximum impact is the best way to optimize your exposure to specific potential employers.
  5. Honest and Accuracy: “Everyone embellishes their resumes a little bit – right?”  While that may be true for some people, inaccurate statements or outright wrong information is a mistake and not smart to do. Today’s employers are choosing from a pool of potential employees that is bigger than ever. Be sure that the information contained in your resume is accurate. Be honest and forthright in your answers. Honesty does matter. Don’t be one of the fools who use embellishment to make their resume stand out—and then get caught later.

Creating resumes that make an impact doesn’t have to be difficult. Spending adequate time, making use of a proofreader, being honest and carefully choosing your format and the information you present is the best way to avoid scary resume or career mistakes.

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Read below for more resume and career advice from the Career Collective!

 

Where Are the Wild Things, Anyway?, @WorkWithIllness

Is Your Job Search Making You Feel Like a Smashed Pumpkin?, @DebraWheatman

Hiding in Plain Sight, @WalterAkana,

Don’t make these frightful resume mistakes, @LaurieBerenson

How Not to Be a Spooky Job Seeker, @heathermundell

A Tombstone Resume:Eulogizing Your Experience, @GayleHoward

The Top Ten Scary Things Job Seekers Do, @barbarasafani

Oh, Job Search Isn’t Like Trick or Treating?, @careersherpa

A Most Unfortunate Resume Mistake No One Will Tell You, @chandlee

Oh no. Not the phone!, @DawnBugni

Halloween Caution: Job Seeker Horror, @resumeservice

Boo! Are you scaring away opportunities or the competition? @MartinBuckland @EliteResumes

Your Career Brand: A Scary Trick or an Appealing Treat?, @KCCareerCoach

How to avoid mistakes on your resume, @Keppie_Careers

Sc-sc-scary Resume Mistakes, @erinkennedycprw

A Flawed Resume is a Scary Prospect, @KatCareerGal

Job Search Angst: Like Clouds Mounting Before a Storm, @ValueIntoWords

Does Your Career Costume Fit You?, @expatcoachmegan

The Dangers of Social Networking During a Job Hunt

Job SearchNetworkingSocial Marketing/Online Branding


It seems that everyone from teenagers to top-level executives of multi-million dollar corporations have taken to social networking online. These types of sites have been around for a while now, so it’s become common knowledge that you should keep your personal information private for safety reasons.
However, your presence on social networking sites can do more harm to you than just affecting your personal safety – it can damage your job safety as well. Today, many employers use social networking sites to narrow down their pool of applicants. A risque picture or an inappropriate comment can make the difference between you and someone else being chosen for a job interview, so it’s crucial to maintain your online reputation carefully just as you would do with your reputation in the real world. There are a few guidelines to keep in mind regarding using social networking sites wisely.
Privacy in Social Networking
Try to make your profile as private as possible. The less you reveal, the less a hiring manager will have to scrutinize. On some social networking sites, you can actually block your name from searches so that your name won’t come up when searched.

On the other hand, you might prefer to give a small hint of information so that friends can verify that you are the classmate they think you are, people with common interests can find you, and potential employers get a glimpse of what you’re really like outside of work. This personal touch can help you as long as you keep it simple, neutral, and tasteful.
Trouble Spots in Social Networking
When managing your profiles, take caution with your pictures, comments, and information. Don’t post pictures that are risque or objectionable. You can say that you graduated summa cum laude from your university, but if you post pictures that show you partying or drinking alcohol, it can give people the wrong idea. Your comment wall can also get you in trouble. If anyone leaves you a crude message, this can reflect poorly on you. After all, people are often judged by the company they keep.
Also, keep in mind that friends can tag you in their own pictures, so always keep track of what pictures you’re tagged in. These photos can be found in your own photo album, so even if all of your pictures are private, these tagged pictures might still appear. If you want to untag yourself from a photo, simply click on the photo and click on the untag option. I find this so frustrating in Facebook. I don’t like being tagged. I’ve even had people that weren’t in the photo tag everyone in it–including me! Very invasive and once it’s out there, it’s out there for good… remember that!
The scrutiny over your social networking profiles might not even end when you get hired for a job. Your current boss could become curious about how you conduct yourself outside work, so always be just as careful with your profiles as you would be during a job hunt.
Since potential employers often use social networking utilities to get a first impression of their candidates, make sure that you put your best face forward with your profile. Check your profile often to make sure that no one has left you any inappropriate comments or tagged you in any questionable pictures. Social networking sites are a great way to keep in touch with friends from your past or family members who live far away, so while they are not entirely bad, you should proceed with caution. Instead of your audience being your friends and family, think of your audience as the entire world, including your potential employers.

"Heating up" the job search–how to stay motivated during the summer

Career CollectiveJob Search

**I am a member of the Career Collective, a group of resume writers and career coaches. Each month, all members discuss a certain topic. This month, we are talking about looking for a job during the summer months. Please follow our tweets on Twitter #careercollective . You can also view the other member’s interesting posts at the end of the article.

Getting through a layoff or firing during the summer months can seem especially cruel. Your employed friends and family are either taking vacation time off in the summer, or even if they just have a paid long weekend, they’re financially able to make the most of it. You might be sitting at home, scrimping on groceries and air conditioning, while the rest of the world seems to be taking paid holidays at exotic locations, or just able to keep up with their bills and maybe buy a kiddie pool.
It doesn’t have to be a low point. The summer can mean many good things for a job hunter, including the fact that other job seekers might be distracted right now and the competition is a little less fierce. Take this time to do some work for yourself, including: Making a list of what you’d actually like to get done this summer, and how you’ll make that happen. It might mean picking up a part-time job doing something completely different, just for a little extra cash and to get you out of the house. It should also include strong strategies for how you’ll get a real job, including goals for interviews during the summer, updating your wardrobe, and daily goals for just getting your resume out there.

Make a daily schedule and be rigid about living it. Just because it’s summer, doesn’t mean you get to take a break from looking for work. Maintain a regular bedtime, get up at an early hour, take your shower, and get dressed, just as if you were headed to work. Then go to your desk and get on the computer, not to play games, but to pour over the want ads and job boards. Join as many online networking sites as you can, and spread the word that you’re in need of employment. Spend as much time looking for a job as you would at a regular job, each day, every day.
Regarding resumes, how fresh is yours? Have you tried different versions of the same resume, shifting objectives and experience, trying out different looks? Maybe you should, and send a few variations of them to friends or family you respect to look over and make suggestions. Perhaps your resume is not sending out the message you want, and you don’t even know it because you’re too close to the situation. Is your resume selling you well, or sabotaging you?
As for your look, take this time to make sure your clothing is in good working order, no holes, missing buttons, stains or tears. If it can be repaired, fix it yourself on the cheap, or get someone who knows what they’re doing to help you. If it needs to be cleaned, have a professional take care of it. If you’re missing some key pieces in your wardrobe, pick some up at a discount store or new at a place like Kohl’s.
Most importantly, try to keep your mood light and enjoy your summer. Spend time with friends outdoors… Vitamin D is supposed to keep you healthy, so get outside and get some fresh air. Go to barbecues, parties, or visit a friend for coffee. It will do your heart and mind a world of good.
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Don’t forget to check out other similar articles from members of the Career Collective:

Turn Off The Computer, Tune Into What’s Happening, & Heat Up the Job Search, @chandlee
Heating up the Job Search-How to Stay Motivated During the Summer, @erinkennedycprw
Light the Fire Under Your Feet, @careersherpa
Cool Job Seekers Heat Up Their Search in the Summer, @barbarasafani
Some assembly required, @DawnBugni
Summertime, Sluggish Economy Provide Strong Motivation for an Updated Resume, @KatCareerGal
9 Ways to Heat Up Your Job Search This Summer, @heatherhuhman
Getting Out From Under Chronic, @WorkWithIllness
Upping Your Job Search Flame; Be ‘Needed, Not Needy,‘ @ValueIntoWords
Is Your Career Trapped in the Matrix? @WalterAkana
Put some sizzle in your job hunt – how to find a job now, @keppie_careers
Summertime – and the Job Search Ain’t Easy, @KCCareerCoach
Heating up your job search. 5 ways to dismiss those winter blues, @GayleHoward
Hot Tips for a Summer Job Search, @MartinBuckland @EliteResumes
Heat Up Your Job Search: Avoid Job Boards, @JobHuntOrg

How to Handle Not Getting a Raise

Career & WorkplaceSalary




OK first off…you know this is a terrible business climate right now, and a lot of people aren’t getting raises, so it’s not just you. The one thing you should absolutely NOT do is get in a snit and go storming out of your boss’s office. That will do nothing for your next evaluation, your next shot at a raise or your standing at the company.
You do, however, have the right to know why your raise was turned down, and there might be a number of different reasons:

  • Company finances. With things being what they are right now in the business world, there’s a real good chance that this is going to be the case. And if they tell you that, there’s a real good chance that they are being honest with you, especially if nobody else in your department is seeing a raise. If that’s the case, there’s not much that you can do but accept it, get over it and move on. Not much point in getting upset, especially since 1 in 10 Americans are out of a job right now, and 2 in 10 are “underemployed”, with all that entails.
  • Poor timing. Lots of companies only are allowed to hand out raises once during a fiscal year, or only after evaluations. If that’s the case, once again, there’s not much you can do about it. Of course, that doesn’t do you much good if your own expenses are going up, your spouse lost a job or your kids need braces. Depending on the nature of your job, maybe you can at least see if you can work overtime or get incentive pay of some sort. Unfortunately, if the company is feeling the pinch (as in the above scenario) they may also be cutting back on bonuses, overtime and incentive to scale back on payroll expenses. So…if you’re going to have to wait until the next quarter, next year or next evaluation (and overtime isn’t an option) your best move is going to be to keep the nose to the grindstone and do the absolute best job you can manage so that when the time comes, you’ll get that raise after all!
  • Poor performance. If your raise was declined due to performance issues, this is when you need to be proactive, stand on your own two feet and find out the specifics. Chances are you’re going to find this out when it’s evaluation time anyway, but regardless, ask your supervisor or department head what areas need to be improved. Find out where your weak points are, and do your dead level best to improve on them. Or, your alternative might be to start looking for another job elsewhere, with better pay and better opportunities. But a word to the wise here: if you’re moving in that direction, keep it to yourself. Nothing can sabotage your future at a company quicker than making it known that you’re thinking about moving on.

The most common mistakes job seekers make

Job SearchResume Writing



With unemployment rates still looking dismal, it’s important to make sure you’re putting your best foot forward. One easy way to do this is to learn what the biggest mistakes job seekers make are, and how you can avoid them. Paying this extra attention to each part of the job seeking process should increase your appeal dramatically.
One of the biggest mistakes made early on is failing to network. It’s important to know that networking isn’t a simple cold and impromptu request for work. It’s building relationships that will be beneficial in the long run, if not the immediate future. Since the majority of jobs aren’t actually listed, networking can be a great gateway into the workforce. And while it’s very important to network, it’s just as important to remain tactful. If you meet or know someone who works for a company you’re interested in, for example, ask them about the hiring process and the work environment; don’t ask them for a reference. Throughout the entire job process you’ll want to be creative. Networking is no exception.

Apart from networking, there are other ways to expand your options. There are the classifieds, of course, but you should also keep in mind that employers often post job listings on their websites. To find these you can go directly to a company’s website or perform a search for the company name and the word job, career, or employment. If the company you’re interested in doesn’t have any listings, consider either mailing or dropping off in person your resume and cover letter.


Resumes are, unsurprisingly, another source of huge mistakes. It’s important that your resume is focused and detailed. People often send out the exact same resume to every posting they see, but this is ineffective. To avoid this mishap take a little time to tailor your resume to each position you’re interested in. Familiarize yourself with the language used in the job listing and on the company’s website and then use it in your resume (and cover letter). This will help convince them that you are familiar with and, maybe, an ideal match for the company. In the very least, it demonstrates you’re applying out of a genuine interest in the position and company, not out of desperation.
Another way to keep your resume focused is to avoid listing broad job responsibilities and activities on your resume. Instead, you want to list specific accomplishments, contexts, and quantities. It’s much more impressive to hear that someone increased profits by 7 percent in a period where competitors all saw a decline than to hear that the same person “helped avoid unnecessary expense.” Objectives, though not necessary, can be a great resume unifier. If you do decide to list an objective, make sure you state how you’ll benefit the company and not vice versa.
The mistakes made during the interview fall into the same category as those made in the resume. Too often people just aren’t specific enough or knowledgeable about the employer they’re applying with. The interview is your chance to drive home the fact that you are the solution to the company’s problem. You should know in advance how you fit in with the company’s future plans and adequately express this in the interview.
Finally, don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re alone in this. There are plenty of resources available. There’s probably at least one support group for jobseekers in your area. These groups can be a great way to network and keep focus. Focus and common sense are, after all, two traits to keep strong during your search.

The five biggest mistakes you can make on a cover letter

Cover Letters

Cover Letters


Your cover letter is one of the most important documents you will write in your job search. Some argue that it’s equally as important as the resume. Of course, every job will place a different amount of weight on the cover letter, but however important the cover letter is to an employer, there are some mistakes that you absolutely should not make. Here are some of the common pitfalls to avoid when writing your letter.
Mistake – Bad spelling or grammar
This mistake is the most common, and what makes it so grievous is the fact that it’s completely avoidable. There is no excuse for bad spelling or grammar in a cover letter. If you’re not sure it’s perfect, have someone read over your work before you send it. You don’t get a second chance at a first impression, and grammar mistakes in a cover letter tell an employer that you aren’t paying attention at best, and that you’re uneducated at worst.

Mistake – “To Whom It May Concern”
While some form letters are written very well, they won’t really help you show that you’ve done your research on the company. Never let your cover letter be generic. Use a last name in your address if at all possible. The ‘To Whom it May Concern” intro just shows you don’t know how to pick up a phone and call to see who the hiring manager is, or you don’t know how to use Google. If you absolutely cannot find the name of a person in the company, make sure the address at least fits the position.  For example, if you’re applying for a sales job, try “Sales Team Hiring Manager”.

Mistake – Using the company to further your own goals
Remember, that any employers wants to know how you will be an asset to the company, not the other way around. Don’t use your cover letter to explain how the company will help you achieve your dreams of being a clerical assistant. Explain how your particular skill set will increase productivity, and how your work in the past has demonstrated this.
Mistake – Leaving it all up to the employer
Don’t end your cover letter with a line like “I hope to hear from you soon.” This takes things out of your hands. You want full control over the situation. Instead, say something like “I will email again on X day to arrange an interview.” If you’re not bold enough for this, at least make a commitment to follow up with the employer. Just be sure that if you set up a time for follow up, you comply without fail.
Mistake – Ignoring the job posting
The job posting ad may have important instructions about how to submit a resume, and what needs to be included. If you ignore the ad, you run the risk of missing critical information, and having even a perfectly written cover letter ignored.

4people-jumpingHave you ever worked with someone who just seemed to have everything go her way? Her projects are successful; she gets one promotion after the other, and she’s just plain happy. So, why is she so successful?
Turns out being happy not only feels good but can also be an important part to achieving job success.

In an article from “Psychology Today” Sonja Lyubomirsky, a social psychologist at the University of California, Riverside writes the following:

“The most persuasive data regarding the effects of happiness on positive work outcomes come from longitudinal studies – that is, investigations that track the same participants over a long period of time. These studies are great. For example, people who report that they are happy at age 18 achieve greater financial independence, higher occupational attainment and greater work autonomy by age 26. Furthermore, the happier a person is, the more likely she will get a job offer, keep her job, and get a new job if she ever loses it. Finally, one fascinating study showed that people who express more positive emotions on the job receive more favorable evaluations from their supervisors 3.5 years later.”
Wow, that’s great news if you’re a naturally happy person, but what if you find being happy a challenge? In Kathryn Britton’s article, Six Tips for Taking Positive Psychology to Work she sites a study by R. Emmons and M.E. McCullough that found that people who focused on increasing their feelings of gratitude are healthier and feel better about their lives. So how do we increase our level of gratitude? Britton offers these suggestions:

  1. Pay attention to good things, large and small. This often requires intentional thought because bad things are more salient to us than good things. For example, I have a friend in his 80’s with arthritis in his hands. He becomes aware of it whenever he knocks something over or has trouble picking something up. I suggested that whenever he finds himself saying, “My poor crippled hands,” that he follow it with “My magnificent legs that let me walk every day without cane or walker.” That does not mean ignoring the painful or disabled. It means balancing it with occasional thoughts of how lucky we are to have so many working parts! We have to work a little to give the positive thoughts space in our brains.
  2. Pay attention to bad things that are avoided. I recently tripped over a small stump and fell flat on my face during a practice hike to get ready for our trip to the mountains. When I picked myself up, I was very grateful to have only a deep bruise on my thigh, no broken bones. It will take a while for the gorgeous 8 inch bruise to go away, but I can still hike. Thank goodness!
  3. Practice downward comparisons. That means thinking about how things could be worse, or were worse, or are worse for someone else. I don’t particularly like the idea of making myself feel more grateful by thinking of others who are worse off than I am. But it doesn’t have to be interpersonal. You can use downward comparison by remembering your own times of adversity or being aware of adversity avoided. The poet, Robert Pollock, said it thus: “Sorrows remembered sweeten present joy.” Here’s a work example. I have two friends who recently moved into the same department in the same company. One is relieved and happy because the situation seems so much better than before. The other is dissatisfied because the teamwork characterizing the old job is no longer there. The first has an easy time with downward contrast. The second will have to work a little harder to find reasons to be grateful.
  4. Establish regular times to focus on being grateful. Gratitude is a character strength that can be enhanced with practice. So practice. Marty Seligman describes two exercises in Authentic Happiness, the Gratitude Visit and a form of keeping a gratitude journal.
  5. When facing a loss or a difficult task or situation, remind yourself to be grateful both for what you haven’t lost and for the strengths and opportunities that arise from facing difficulties. Negative moods are catching, but positive ones can be as well. The character, Pollyanna, helped other people see the benefits in their situations by teaching them the Glad Game. Sometimes, having someone else see what is good in your own life makes it visible to you.
  6. Elicit and reinforce gratitude in the people around you. Tennen and Affleck found that benefit-seeking and benefit-remembering are linked to psychological and physical health. Benefit finding involves choosing to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and avoiding the feeling of being a victim.

So now you know her secret. Sure she may be talented too, but she’s happy and that is her competitive edge. Find ways to increase your own happiness: focus on gratitude, celebrate little victories, look for the positive in every situation, what ever works for you and get ready to experience your own career success.